When the doctor broke the news, it broke my heart

Have you ever waited to hear some news and when you finally get it, you’re surprised?

I thought I was ready. I was wrong.

What I’m about to tell you, I wasn’t sure if I should share or not. Then I decided that my story may help you if you have a similar situation. So here it goes …

I decided that my story may help you if you have a similar situation.

For the past five months, I’ve experienced pretty intense joint pain. It was so bad at some points, I couldn’t lift my legs to get into bed without them aching. My knees were so sore, I haven’t been able to crouch in months. My wrists couldn’t take any weight bearing on them, so doing the “cobra” yoga move was out. Neither could I do the sun salutation as my shoulders responded with jolts of sharp pain. The simplest things in life became huge. I longed to be able to open a jar on my own, to reach up into a cupboard, and to brush my teeth or hair without having to stop part way due to the aches.

I knew something was wrong, but what?

Have you ever been in a place like that, where you knew something wasn’t quite right, but you couldn’t figure it out? You feel demotivated like you’re losing momentum. It’s as if the control you had is slipping through your figures. It’s like your life is spinning wildly and you’re on this downward spiral. You find it both humbling and scary.

I understand completely. I get into those headspaces too. In fact, over the past few months, I feel there were times that I held it together with a thread. I couldn’t understand what was happening — so I did what you likely do when you need help. 

I went to speak to an expert.

After seeing a couple of doctors over the months, a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Honestly, it was a fear of mine at first, but when I got the diagnosis, I was relieved because now I can move forward and manage it.

All that to say that this provided a real opportunity for me to step back and evaluate what was really important to me. What type of biz model do I want? How many hours do I want to work? And most importantly, what makes my heart sing (what do I want to talk about and share with my clients)? I’m still looking for those answers and finding my way. 

I’ve made some tough decisions.

 As I move forward, I will work only part-time to allow time for life. We live on a golf course and I want to get out there. When my hubby pops his head in my office and asks if I want to play golf, I’m going to say, “yes”. 

I’m so grateful that these options are now available to me, due to meds, I can now play golf and live life without pain. I want to embrace that and squeeze every drop of enjoyment juice out of that experience. 

Life first, business second.

At first, I found I was fighting with my big, fat ego. I didn’t want to let go of my business goals and admit that I was now going to work part-time. I felt like I had failed. Then it dawned on me …

It’s not a failure if it works for YOU

I share this with you because I want you to know that you’re not alone in whatever struggles you may be facing. If you’re feeling demotivated, restless or dissatisfied, it could mean that change is just around the corner. When it gets uncomfortable enough, you will move to action and action yields change. It’s okay from time to time to feel a little like a lost sheep, bah bah bah. You’re likely in the right baseball park, just not yet on the right base. And that’s perfectly fine. 

It seems I’ve spent the better part of my life feeling not quite “in the zone”. It’s not too comfortable, and that situation keeps you searching and striving to find your “zone”. You will. You’ll figure it out the way I am. You’ll do things a little differently, maybe stop doing certain things or start doing others. You can still serve those you want to help, just do so differently.

I want to leave you with this final thought: you create your own reality.

You can’t control what life rolls in your direction, but you can control how you react. See the opportunity in any situation and grab it with both hands. And if you need some help doing that, here’s one of my fave programs that may help: https://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/1-Winning-Strategies-at-Work

PS: I’d love to hear your comments. Join in the conversation — just post your comments below in my blog and see what others are saying.