CommunicationLeadership: Say it like a leaderResiliency & attitude

You show what you value by doing THIS

By September 7, 2021September 14th, 20212 Comments
PHOTO CREDIT: Stock Unlimited

Whether you realize it or not, your every action is communicating to the world what you value. Here’s the secret …

You show the world what you value by how you spend your resources.

During my presentations, I often do an exercise where I invite participants to rate themselves in terms of how satisfied they are in various aspects of their lives. The categories range from career and finances to health and social life, and everything in between. Then I ask them to look at the items they rated as “low” and to ask themselves, “Am I spending enough time and resources on that aspect of my life?”. Are you?

What parts of your life would you rate “low” on the satisfaction scale?

In the areas where you have low satisfaction, are you dedicating resources to change that? Those aspects of your life just might require more of your attention, effort, and money. 

Conversely, where are you spending most of your resources, right now? Are those the areas that you value the most, mean the most to you, that you treasure? If not, why are you spending that many resources on them? You are sending the world a wrong message. 

If aspects of your life and how you’re spending your resources are out of sync with what’s really important to you, that might be OK for short periods of time. In the long run, however, you will absolutely pay the price.

You probably know some people who kick their butts for investing so many resources on things that, in retrospect, didn’t mean that much to them. That could be careers that were going nowhere, dead-end relationships, or business ventures gone wrong. It could be money, time, effort wasted on something that yields benefits that are small or don’t mean that much to you in the big picture. 

Perhaps you see this in your own life. Here are some examples of areas clients told me they spent resources on that, upon reflection, really didn’t matter. Do you see yourself or someone you know in any of the following?


  • Your work relationships are minimal because you haven’t nurtured them (When you really need to confide in or lean on a colleague, you’re at a loss);
  • Your health has been put on the back burner for so long, you now suffer from overweight, high blood pressure, or something even worse;
  • It’s been so long since you volunteered or gave back to your community, you feel disconnected and isolated, like you don’t make a difference in this world;
  • You are so busy meeting the needs of everyone else in the workplace or in your private life, that you are bitter and resentful toward those who are only asking for things you’ve taught them that you give (we teach people how to treat us);
  • You have a closet full of clothes you never wear, or worse yet, still have the price tags on them from ages ago when you bought them (could you have spent these funds elsewhere on something you would have actually used and enjoyed?);
  • Your tool shed is full of the latest, greatest gizmos you used once and then never again (could you have rented instead of spending your resources to buy?).

The list goes on and on. What areas of your life have you been neglecting, been denying resources?

If you identify one or several aspects requiring your attention, don’t whip yourself.

Welcome to the human race! Life is fluid and your priorities constantly shift. They can budge now too, in the direction that will make the biggest long-term difference to you. You have that ability, that power to choose change.

This exercise can change your life.

I recently received an email from a colleague who had attended one of my sessions and he told me that, because of this exercise, he was changing how he spent his resources to better reflect the importance of his health. He now engages in some physical activity every day. He’s put himself on the agenda and is spending his most valuable resource (time) investing in his health. And he’s reaping the benefits — better sleep, more concentration at work, and an improved overall sense of wellbeing.

You can reap the rewards as well.

Once you decide to spend your resources on the things you hold near and dear that will really make a difference to you, your happiness, and fulfillment. In doing so, you’ll be communicating to your colleagues, clients, bosses, and employees, what’s important in your life. The side benefit is that you’ll also be setting a fine example for others, communicating what’s meaningful to you, and ensuring that your limited resources are in sync with what you value. And that’s a valuable message.

©2021 Marion Grobb Finkelstein

Until next time, here’s to …
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
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Post your comments and reactions below. There are no right or wrong responses, just honest, respectful ones. I’d love to hear your opinion. What about this article resonated with YOU?

Marion Grobb Finkelstein

Marion Grobb Finkelstein helps leaders use their natural communication strengths to build resilient teams that talk.


  • David Raftus says:

    I found this short piece personally revealing. In particular the ‘signs’ bullets included a couple that hit close to home. Normal busy life involves acting the same way and doing the same activities with little thought to satisfaction, only to repeat day after day. Thanks for the insight.

    • David, thanks for taking the time to share your comments. You’re so right, we get into a routine and sometimes don’t step back to get the big picture of what we’re really doing. Life is limited and so are resources, so let’s spend them both wisely … on the things that matter the most.

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