It seems these days that just about everyone needs a little boost to how they feel. Do you? 

How you look affects how you feel and how much confidence you have. When you look great, you feel great. When you feel great, you have more confidence in almost everything you do, including communicating and leading. You feel better about presenting yourself and your ideas. 

How you care for yourself and the #selfcare you dish out teaches the world how to treat you. If you don’t invest in yourself, your time, energy, funds, how can you expect others to do so? You show the world what you value by how you spend your resources. Spending those resources on yourself shows others that you’re worth it. You really are.

Today, I got my hair cut and highlighted for the first time in about 6 months (yup, I have a “Covid coiffe” going on). I walked in masked up and sanitized, feeling discouraged about my lack of hairstyle. It affected me doing videos for you because I felt my hair was a mess. I couldn’t stand to see myself on camera. It sounds so silly, but ladies, I’m guessing you can relate to what I’m saying, right? After 90 minutes, my hair looked styled, refreshed, and professional … and that’s exactly how I felt. 

NOTE: In fact, I felt so energized after spending a bit of time on my professional appearance, I came straight home and updated my online offering for “The Finkelstein Factor” online self-guided 4-week course. I even created a coupon “FFsave100” so you could save an extra $100 off the already discounted introductory price. Curious? Check it out at

You feel different when you know you look great.

You can get that feeling too, of being energized and tackling a task you’ve wanted to do for quite a while. Remember the last time you got an outfit that fit you like a glove? Or got a new haircut that really behooved you? When you looked at yourself, you felt different, perhaps more confident. You held yourself differently, stood a little straighter, walked with a little more attitude, and felt like you could take on the world. When you looked yourself in the mirror, the person who looked back at you was self-assured and welcomed the chance to share his or her thoughts, maybe even confidently present an alternative perspective.

Getting “that look” of confidence may seem like a pipe dream. Maybe you’re not sure what “look” you’re after. Maybe you don’t know what to look for or what style would best suit you. Or it could be that costs are getting in the way. Whatever look you decide on, whatever it is you’re buying to enhance your appearance, there’s a few guidelines that will help in your choices. I call them “avoiding the terrible toos”.


  • Too tight, too bright
  • Too high-hemmed, too low-cut
  • Too old, too young
  • Too tight, too baggy
  • Too extreme, too boring
  • Too cheap, too expensive
  • Too loud, too dull
  • … and the list goes on

Avoiding extremes in how you appear will help you feel less self-conscious. It will help you to focus your limited energies on your communication instead of being concerned about your appearance. It will also help those with whom you’re communicating focus on your message instead of being distracted by how you look. Consider it as one less thing to worry about and one more strategy to improve how you communicate to connect.

You might not think about how your appearance affects how and what you communicate. Think again. Because if you don’t consider it, you may realize another “too” — too late.

Have comments? Post them in the blog below!

© 2011, updated 2020 Marion Grobb Finkelstein

©2021 Marion Grobb Finkelstein

Until next time, here’s to …
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
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Post your comments and reactions below. There are no right or wrong responses, just honest, respectful ones. I’d love to hear your opinion. What about this article resonated with YOU?

Marion Grobb Finkelstein

Marion Grobb Finkelstein helps leaders use their natural communication strengths to build resilient teams that talk.


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